Friday, August 19, 2011
When Things are Out of Control, Take Control
When things in your life feel out of control what do you do?
Well what I used to do is likely lose my appetite for a while as I'm frustrated or hurting, then quickly I'd turn to the one thing I knew could make me feel better (well at least for a while). Food! Oh Yes, it can get the best of most all of us.
So we know how easy it is to say that when we know something is not good for us, that we still want it cause it can make us feel good. (Are we still talking about food?) It's like with all addictions. Mine is food. Some it's alcohol or perhaps drugs...or wait maybe your a sex addict, a gambler...or maybe you have taken the extreme notion that you shouldn't eat at all and get obsessed about not eating.
Whatever the case may be it comes from the deep need to fill a void. What's your void? The first step in knowing why you are doing what you do is the realization behind what your attachment to your addiction is.
When I started calorie counting I would note next to my journal entries how I was feeling when I ate. What emotion was I feeling, what time of day it was. Through time you can hope that you begin to see a pattern to your cravings in comparison to the stresses (shoot maybe even relaxing, treating) times in your day.
What I want you to learn to do is to recognize when NOT to eat. When you normally would crave a big fat cream filled donut I want you to replace that urge with something healthy. Not into exercise yet then maybe you should go meditate, go take a hot shower, go for a walk, go garden, call a friend, paint your nails...I don't care what you do that makes you feel good...but find a HEALTHY way to feel good. When that 'feeling' passes and you are hungry then I want you to eat. Then when you do, by golly pick up an apple or make yourself a healthy meal/snack.
You have to learn to replace those bad habits with healthy new ones. The only person that can do that, is YOU!
I never eat when I'm upset, I never eat when I'm mad. I never eat when I'm lonely or frustrated. I've been known to walk away from a family meal and return later to eat on my own if I find I'm frustrated, etc.
It's dis-connecting emotions to food~!!!
Embrace the idea that you can actually have control in your life.
C'mon how much of your life do you feel like is out of your control? Sometimes almost all of it for me. I can't control other people. I have expectations just like everyone else and yeah sometimes that comes back to bite me in the ass. So what am I going to do about it? That my friend is my ONLY Control.
If you chose to be weak and let that food be the feel good part of soothing away the pain in your life, then you ultimately chose to be unhealthy/overweight.
I know it's hard, because it's a viscous cycle. If you don't feel worthy you don't feel like you deserve it, so then you'll eat anyways because it's just so much easier and happier to grab a cheeseburger.
But it honestly can be easier to do almost anything that will make you feel good as so long as that hunger for 'feeling good' is met.
So maybe a hot shower doesn't always work, maybe my pain or yours goes deeper than that. So now we need to get our nose away from the paper and we need see the bigger picture. Take time to reflect, decide that you are worth it. The first step for change is acknowledging that you need one. Once you do that then making all this happen for yourself is attainable.
If you need a change and truly want the change then you will do it. I gave you some options,find your connection with food through your food journal, do something healthy when you feel like eating/binging, it can be this easy! Sorta of a basic 101 in cognitive therapy, changing your mind to do B when it's so used to just naturally wants to react with A.
When I feel this out of control, I won't lie.......I want to run....and not to the pantry!
Posted by Connie York