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Saturday, September 28, 2013

Leaking Ovarian Cysts - Pcos Awareness

September is PCOS Awareness Month. Many of you may not know but I was diagnosed in 1998 with PCOS which stands for Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which is a female endocrine disorder. It was the leading cause in my 10 year battle with Infertility. Whitney was a miracle child indeed I suffer from various symptoms with PCOS that of which includes unwanted facial or body hair, hair loss, cystic ovaries that affect hormones which always affect my ability to lose weight, maintain weight, sleep normally (as I often suffer from insomnia) heart palpitations, glucose intolerance (Hey I look at a muffin and I get fatter! true story) Acne and actually my facial complexion is worse after losing 150lbs, strange because I eat really healthy now, lol- Depression was certainly a past issue for me but now I still find once in a blue moon occasional "funks" but I'm guessing we all get that way from time to time! Elevated Blood pressure which I maintain now through fitness. This disorder increases my risks for heart disease from high blood pressure and high cholesterol which is very common with pcos. It's not a disorder that just affects 'big woman' as it also affects thin woman as well. If you would like to know if you have PCOS you can read more here.
I posted this to my personal Facebook wall one day before I was diagnosed with a leaking ovarian cyst. This past Sunday Night I began to experience an upper right abdominal pain that made me grab my right side and the ache worked around my back side to what felt like my right kidney. I looked at my ovulation calendar (which is irrelevant to fertility because my husband has had a vasectomy) but I track to know when I'll ovulate for pains and when I'll be expecting my periods. Well Sunday Day #18 in my cycle is my typical ovulation day. So I thought "maybe I'm ovulating" and maybe the cramping is radiating my belly causing me weird pains. After 3 days the pain never went away. I went to the walk in emergency clinic to see if I had a kidney infection- that was negative. I made an apt to get my yearly pap smear. There I told them about my pain and was sent for a sono. My left ovary is normal looking but the right ovary has a 3.5cm cyst. Which by that point on Friday after lots of rest, the pain was less but still nagging. Not sure whether I ovulated or not, if I'll get my normal next week or not but I now have answer to my aches/pains. The cyst is leaking into my abdomen and they say it's causing my abdominal section to be toxic causing pains. Yuck! I had NO idea they leak, lol- I certainly have had strong ovary pain and what often feels like a "pop" or sharp sudden pain that goes away during my cycle on my right side on few occasions but never one that caused me this much discomfort.

I took a moment to pity myself. Tears suddenly fell from my eyes. Failure once again from my body. I can't
escape the disorder. The Nurse Practitioner  was lovely but she made a comment that she noticed that I lost a lot of weight and that I should have lost my disorder through my weight loss. I didn't argue with her, all scientific evidence shows that once you have PCOS you'll always have it. It's not a disorder I can escape, no matter how big or small I am. I do know that symptoms become fewer and far between and for me this feels true, but I'll always have cystic ovaries and all the side effects. It sucks and it's a raw but real reality for me.

Moving On. Just be informed if you think you have PCOS please see your doctor and find the links on this blog that point to tips to lose weight while battling pcos!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Eating Yourself to Death or Eating Yourself to Life

What if your life was food and you find yourself controlled by it. Food addiction is incredibly real. Unlike any other addiction out there. If you are an alcoholic you can choose to sustain from it. When you quit using drugs like Pot or cocaine you just have to sustain from it.  Most all addictions there is a separation from the 'substance' that you are addicted to. However, with food that is not the case. We need to eat every day all day long. We need food to survive. Then comes the choice if you want the food to sustain you, kill you, fill you, overfill you, under fill you, exploit you, control you, overcome you, over power you.

Do we need to be a slave to food? No, actually we don't. It's vitally important to take each day with the cognitive thought that "this food is going to fuel me, make me healthy" mentality instead of the "This food is going to control me, overcome me and make me sick".  I'll be honest that is a hard pill for overweight or even unhealthy people to understand. I'm not even talking to the Obese, overweight population either. I'm talking to my normal sized skinny fat people (the standard healthy weight by numbers people that eat like crap and have higher risk for heart disease than healthy eating obese people)

We want to choose life. We are survivalists by nature. Yet there is another side to us that wants to survive and that need is emotional. Emotional well being trumps our physical well being. We are spiritual beings living in a physical self. 

Disconnection takes place when you remove emotions from your food. Stop your comfort eating, Stop your boredom eating. Stop your over eating. Learn to control your environment. Set up your home, office, car for success. Failing to plan ahead is planning on failing. We must hold ourselves accountable. It's not done all at once, baby steps. Will today be your day that you choose Life (healthy foods in moderation) or Death (processed foods laced with sugar, salt and unhealthy fats)?

We are All NEW at some time or another - Coach Update

We are all New at something at some time or another. How discouraging to feel like no matter how much you want something in your life how there are times when it never just 'clicks'. Onset of guilt perhaps sets in. Likely the discouragement creeps up only after a day or two. Maybe it's a week or two.

By Flesh, we want quick sudden results. We expect those results to fall into perimeters we set up for ourselves. Where do you receive that preconception? Who told you that progress was based upon your expectations? Should they be the expectations of others? What if....then what...what about you? What if while you were trying to be something for someone else you realize that you were doing it all for the wrong reasons. What happens to your drive and tenacity when those others persons expectations are no longer there?

What's your drive? You want to get back into those high school skinny clothes? Perhaps you want to just get out of the Fat body you are in because you know "This is Just not me!"  How about I want it so bad but I relish in all my past mistakes.

 What if today and everyday was my "new" day? 

When are we going to STOP being "new"? Every effort begins and soon (most often) fail. Then you are starting NEW again. Yet, I wonder aren't we all NEW? We constantly start a new Day, New Adventures, New moments of reflection, New Growth, new setbacks, new pitfalls, new self worth, new denials, new complaints, new excuses, new progress....the good and bad go on and on........

What you feel is so common to every other person on Earth that is doing something "new". You are never supposed to be Immune to change. It's never supposed to be easy. If it was easy then you would never see anyone struggle. It's why everyone thinks they have the Answer! Or Wait............the magic answer!

I want to say that my Biggest Tip for Losing 150 lbs and learning to maintain the last two years is to balance between being "uncomfortable" and finding your "comfort spot".  I've come to learn that I need to live at least half my life in the comfort zone but I must always be willing to step out of my comfort zone by getting uncomfortable.  Why do we need to be uncomfortable? It reminds us how easy it is to fall away, to fall back. It reminds us that progress can be lost. When you become comfortable then you likely eat more than you should, you likely eat more of the wrong things than you should. You likely skip work-outs and then slowly the fall away from the lifestyle happens. When you learn to create a life long balance between healthy clean eating and occasional splurges then you have created a sustainable balance. When you keep active and keep challenging yourself but learn that it's ok to take a few days off or let a week or even a month where you cut back on your training so you can allow for the ebb and flow of the life to take place. 

Where I am is someplace new. Wow, actually I'm in lots of "new" adventures in my life right now. I'm in the middle of amazing experiences and amazing moments of complete surrender and I realized that because of the years I've had, that this past year has been about comfort for me. I've needed it. Between finding Jesus, losing my brother in law last fall, finding my Identity in Jesus has been my most recent adventure. Fully surrendering to Who God wants me to be. Revelation upon revelation would blow your mind away. If you know me well, don't fear to ask- I'll share :)  I've taken a few weeks away from Coaching and my photography. Just working with a few last clients on both sides and in the meantime I've started my home schooling adventure with my three kids! Wow, I'm a Home-Schooling Momma ♥ It's been so far an amazing experience! I've let go of "me" and put them fully first. I will admit I have NOT done that the last four years of being in a healthy, fit lifestyle. I've always been a stay at home mom and spoiled and loved my kids like crazy, but I wanted it different, new and even MORE! I can be here but not be here...does that make sense? I can spend my day with them but how much was actually "with" them?  I craved more with them! I crave to give back to them what I feel maybe I took away while I was so fixed on myself. I got selfish for the first time in my life when I got "healthy" and maybe I feel like I took it too far. I lost myself in problems and my marriage got rocky and my life was upside down for a least a year. My solitude was running and eating healthy it was my control when life was totally out of control. Actually it's still is, I'm not convinced that's a bad thing at all, so please don't take it that way! It's just that what I really needed was Jesus and now that I have him, life is different, complete and actually perfect. In my perfection through Christ I've learned to take comfort. I got so comfortable that getting uncomfortable made me weak. My tolerance for exertion physically was not there. I was not willing to get more uncomfortable with unwarranted or unhealthy food choices or occasional second helpings of something yummy!

In the last year I've gained ten lbs. When you lose 150lbs and maintain for two years this may not seem like a big deal. I won't make it one because really I've done this journey with complete honesty. The truth is I got to goal weight and and then did lots of strength training and gained lots of muscle and rested comfortable at 165-170lbs. Right now I'm at 178-180 lbs. I look back and think of all that this year has encompassed for me and I've not seen where I went "wrong" if anything the weight gain in random 2-3lb increments were always because of my lack of training. I've run maybe 600 miles so far this year and that should be more around 900 miles for me to maintain at what I'm used to eating. Learning to adjust my foods based upon my current fitness routine is likely the biggest maintaining struggle for me. In/out of training. In/out of several injury's this year. From 7 week knee tendinitis in spring to two separate shoulder injury's that stopped me from weight lifting, another 3 week foot injury, this past week I had strep throat. Point is, these are NOT excuses. This is my real, true life. These are real happenings that screw up my plans, lol. I'd much rather run/lift and stay consistent.
Through the struggle however, I've found that we are never meant to be in a state of complete balance.  Life would certainly lack adventure if that were the case!

Point blank. I never gave up, I'm never giving up. I was new, will always continue to be new! I want you to know that everyday is NEW chance to make it the Best day you've ever had, or had in a long time! Yesterday's are learning experiences so that we don't repeat the future!

What's ahead? I was training for Marine Corps Marathon. Got a soft tissue bruise on my arch on a 14 miler. I had to rest on long runs for a full 3 weeks (putting me at peak) and ran 15 and that was sucky but done. Then I came down with Strep and swollen neck lymph nodes and well, I just don't have the confidence to Run Marine Corps so ill prepared. I could walk/run it and come in around 4:30 or even slower, but it's not written in the stars for this Race. Despite paying for it already and putting 250 dollars of my own money into the charity, I'll just let "go" and move forward with some new ideas to keep me moving and inspired! I love fall running so I'm all geeked out about running outside! I have plans to blog on a ZERO processed foods 30 day challenge I'm going to take and plan to blog that experience here! I don't eat dirty processed foods, I actually pay lots extra for healthy frozen/processed foods just because I do still do enjoy foods that are processed like tater tots, lol *hey we all need a healthy tater tot once in a while ;-)

~Coach Connie

Oh and I just turned 35 and I feel AMAZING ♥