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Friday, October 28, 2011

I'm seriously moved.

When I started my Blog back in the middle of summer, It was purely to just write out what I do everyday. Really to anyone that ever wanted to read....they could. It allowed me to express and explore myself, my work-outs.
I live a very sheltered life. I have 3 amazing children but life is very focused and centered around family and my own doings. I have no real community ties and my friendships with those in the 'real' world tend to be lacking. Although I notice myself getting better about that. I'm not shy, lol.
I suppose you can say I'm sorta snobby and incredibly selfish. There I admit it. It's something I've been working on. I just have no time for drama and I'm 33 and I'm busy. I have values and morals and I want those in my life to have the same set *or pretty close to it* I'm not Betty Crocker and I'm far from perfect. I yell at my kids from time to time and swear like a sailor when I'm pissed and my weakness less still in self doubts in other areas of my life. But the one thing that seems to stand true is my ability to control my food and my fitness. And Perhaps my ability to really focus on myself and my family has allowed me to stay so committed to losing weight and running.
For me that control has meant everything. In a life that is so out of control. In a world where we can expect the most unexpected, then this is one thing that I feel I can rely on the most.
Perhaps that why it sorts rocks my boat a little to not be able to run like normal. I'm thankful right now I'm not in training or else I'd likely fall into a very big funk. I ran 2 miles today. I felt the pain in my leg on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst and what I was feeling on my first recovery run 8 days was a 3 and I hopped off the tready 4x to stretch the quads/knee.
I ran two 9:15 miles with a bounce around in pace from 8:30 to 9:30.
I stopped early, I was eager to go three...the sweat was AMAZING! I was feeling my lack of run cardio and was feeling a tad 'tired' in my run. But I loved that feeling and truthfully I sickly missed it! I just know that I have not run much since Marathon and I really want to play this injury and recovery out by ear. Not wanting to go beyond three miles and see how my recovery is from that. I then walked slowly for another 1.5 miles while talking to worker friend at the gym. We got lost in lots of talk about nutrition and I picked her brain for a while about childhood cancer and foods and well it was a long conversation, but she has a masters in Nutrition so I certainly like hearing her perspective about nutrition and health. Not only do I focus on this way of healthy eating for myself but mostly for my children too. I grew up with processed, easy fast foods. I grew up with snacks and well, whatever anyone wanted, we all ate it. I also grew up around smoking and alcoholism but that doesn't make it ok either.
The One thing I can do for my children is provide them with the healthiest start ever. Smoke Free, Healthy foods and encourage them to be active. Perhaps I can do my part to alleviate the environmental risks they will have in early life from getting such terrible diseases like diabetes, high cholesterol, cancer *yes, they are happening so much these days in our nations children* It starts with me and it trickles down to them.
So maybe you laugh when I say I took them to McDonalds! Where they play with friends and I get some Mother Time with other Moms. My kids do get McDonalds from time to time. I order Nuggets and apple dippers and they will get a small fry to split. Truth be told, my one daughter ate everything and refused her frys *heart swells* Many times we don't do frys at all~!
I ate Grilled chicken snack wrap, NO cheese, Extra Lettuce and honey mustard -easy. Then I had apple dipper and I had about 5 hott frys, I like the salt!
Dinner: Organic Beef 85/15, 2% cheese, low sodium bacon slice, avocado, bbq sauce on a whole wheat roll and broccoli/asparagus steamed veggie mix.
Dessert: Home-made cake.
2 cups flour
3 tblsp baking powder
4 egg whites
3/4 cups honey
1 cup applesauce
2 tblsp sunflower oil *light oil*
I won't lie...I'm not sold on this recipe. Clean yes, but super yum...NO!
Yummy enough to enjoy with a home-made buttercream frosting...I've yet to find a healthy frosting. Store bought versions are high fructose corn syrup/hydrogenated I make my own and had to buy butter to do it. but the kids/runnerboy loved the frosting, lol. Great Holiday Cupcakes tonight!
So I sit down and I start crying, I'm reading your emails, I have 24 of them now and I'm sad for so many of you. I hear the desperation's, they are so real to me. You trigger in me all these incredible emotions. Alot of reflecting. Alot of planning thoughts pour through my mind. I think selfishly how sad I am that I'm not running normal and how I'll be starting off this challenge with a vengeance but missing the best thing in my life *well besides my kids ;-) and that's my running. But you all ...... I want you to use me.......cause let me just say it now- I'm using you! Training for two marathons this year has ALWAYS kept me motivated. It has always kept me moving. Never had doubts, never second guessed a thing. Now that I'm recovering and dealing with an injury I'm eager to propel forward and not get stagnant in my fitness. I'm really trying to embrace cross training although my heart is the run. My thoughts go back to cold mornings where I would run half marathons for fun runs. Where my idea of boosting my confidence was pushing myself when I felt weak. I've said so many times for me, there is nothing in fitness that pushes me like Running does. So in a way we all together are going to be pushing ourselves in so many different ways in the months to come!
I'm honored you will join in and do this as a team. I get a little freaked out if I post too much on my own facebook page. I'm not one to blow up facebook with posts. I blog daily and less I really want to share something, then I just keep it here, knowing you all can come read and find it if you want to, lol. Things will be different after next week. My Page is about inspiration, motivation, good eating and running. I suppose if people can't handle that sort of Awesome then they should most certainly 'unlike' the page and move along! I have a tendency like most to be a people pleaser, but when it comes to my commitments that sorta shiz goes right out the window!
Monday I'll be blogging and sharing pics/measurements and weight with you all. Those that want to lose weight...I'll be asking you to try to take measurements and weighing in! Picture for your progress too!

1 comment:

  1. I admire what you are doing for others Connie, but promise me something. Promise me that you won't let other people's issues/problems overwhelm you, because I think you are the kind of person that will want to help SO much that they might just do that. Remember who you are always.