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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Closure feels SO Good

Sometimes God and people work in their own time.
Ever ask God "why" and feel so confused and hurt and maybe perplexed by someone or an event in your life? Trying to understand a purpose or get the meaning out of what is really going on. I'm almost convinced we are not supposed to stress ourselves out with trying to find out why or what lessons are supposed to be learned etc.

I actually went through so much last year and I was just in so much emotional pain. I kept trying to see clearly enough to just get through my days for myself and my kids. I didn't even know how to pray for myself or even know what to pray for. I really felt scared to pray for anything specifically. It's not liking praying and God are a magic genie bottle. It doesn't work that way right? lol-

So finally after a couple months I just stared to pray for courage, forgiveness and the ability to let go and be strong. I wanted to stay focused on what always mattered most. My family. So by about November I really was able to start doing that more and more.

As a I reflect on the last 11 months I see that I found my closure. Surely and slowly the last few months what once was hurting me so much- no longer was. I found myself smiling more. Living More. Willing to open up more to the people I love. I was coming "alive" again. I cry now at the tears of freedom I have in my heart. I have closure. I thank God for that feeling. Time does heal and my views about people/events in my life last year have changed the FREEDOM is amazing to me right now!

I am ready to keep moving forward and I'm REALLY EXCITED to keep moving on!! I know this amazing feeling tonight will continue to transcend in my personal life with my Husband and kids- with my personal running goals and so many exciting things I have planned for future.

My lessons are learned and boy that was a LONG lesson, but I'm never making that mistake again!

1 comment:

  1. Hi! This may sound completely random but you left a comment on Nicole's blog ( I Dream of Running)and it jumped out to me so I had to check your blog. You mentioned last year having some knee tendonitis issues after a marathon and I think I am in that same boat but I'm not sure what to do.

    I ran a marathon at the beginning of March (lots of elevation changes) and ever since my knee has not been the same. I have decreased mileage but still have kept up racing lower distance events (5 & 10K stuff). I am about to start NYC Marathon training July 1st so a few weeks ago I decided to take off 2 weeks from running all together and just cross train. I just started back this week and it is still not feeling normal. Pain starts about 2-3 miles into a run and comes and goes. Front part of knee cap. Just an annoying ache. Is any of that what you had? How long did yours take to go away? Was it diagnosed by a doctor? x-rays? I'm not sure what to do and I need to get healthy asap!!

    Sorry to go on and on. Thanks for ANY help in this area.

    By the way- I am so glad I found your blog!! Going to start following you!