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Monday, July 25, 2011

Not feeling up to it...Too bad...Go!

Woke up with battled emotions. Many have seen and realized that I am going through a bit of difficult time right now. Emotionally I have given myself to the one thing that is making me feel best. That is working out and taking care of myself. In the past the emotional side of my problems would have led me straight the fridge or pantry. I have trained my mind to steer clear of foods when I'm feeling anything but 'normal'. I often find that I eat less because of this...only eating when I feel good, well on some given days I feel like I don't want to eat at all. But let's be realistic we all know I believe in doing this for healthy reasons too. So we must fuel our body's and if I don't fuel myself I'll never be the runner/athlete that I am or for that matter I would have no energy to be the best Mommy I can be and I'd be one cranky Wife.

Working out leaves you feeling stronger mentally and emotionally or it's suppose to. I was hitting points a few weeks ago where I was dreading my my heart was so intertwined with my emotional side that just seemed to mess up my runs. Most times when a person is going through troubles a run is exactly the medicine needed to make things more clear and to allow a person to not think at all. I am completely runs allow me to think and get lost. Sometimes I wished I had nothing to think about except the run and often those are the best kinds...often the thinking helps to pass the miles and there are certainly times in my long runs where I have LITERALLY lost miles and lost in my mind and in my shuffle that I glance down and I've run a couple more miles than I had thought/felt.

Today I sat on the couch...a tear rolls down my cheek as I feel sad today. I allow myself to sulk for a little bit....feeling the feeling...understanding that life is not always easy and that we all can create excuses to not do the very thing that will probably help us out the most. We have to take care of ourselves. I can easily sit and sulk and let my kids be lonely and leave my home to the fridge and stuff my emotions the best way I used to know how! Or I could feel the 'feeling' (we'll just call it that and not label it for the sake of you having to know why I feel sad today) and just move on.

So I get up and I 'move on'. I breathe in and out and I do the very thing I know I need to do. I leave for the gym.

1/4 mile warm up
3 Mile run in 25:45
10min on the Elliptical
quad/oblique strength training.

Tonight I am double running and will hit up some more arm/ab work.

I planned a group run with a bunch of ladies that want to learn to run. I want to inspire and motivate them. I am hoping for a great turn-out! Hopefully the rain stay away!
The weather outside is a cool 75-80 with an AMAZING breeze...I wished I was able to run outside earlier today. But with the schedule I planned for the indoor run, so Don can run outside tonight too and I can get a double work-out done!

I love Music. I love Running to Music. So each time I run I'm going to dedicate my run to a specific song that I find empowered me, moved, motivated me, etc!

I've fallen for a group called "The Script" I keep catching this song on the radio and it ...well....moves me.

The Script: Breakeven.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

So There was just one Friend that showed up today and we walked a bit as she was pushing her handsome little 5 month old prince! It was a gorgeous sunset at the lake and we walked about a 1/2 mile together! It was nice to have someone show up and hope for a better turn-out next week!

After I parted ways with the friend...I did some sprints and worked on some speed play. I wore my garmin and my best pace for a few of the sprints were 4:51 per mile...What was cool was I thought I was a faster sprinter than don but he even managed to sprint at a 4:17 pace! BoomTastic!

What I loved even more was just jogging next to my son...he'll be 3 years old on Friday and it was amazing to run with him about a 1/4 mile just myself at a 12:30 pace! Crazy! Don ran with him on the pier for about the same distance about the same pace! My Son is going to be an Amazing runner! He wants it, he is loving it and he just begs to run ♥

Worked on some assisted push ups too!

B: 1 organic egg, 1 slice of wheat toast
L: Chobani Greek yogurt, 1 slice of wheat bread with tsp of all natural pm & tsp jam
1 oz of cashews
D: 1.25 cups of steamed broccoli, 1 serving of 4 cheese tortellini and 1/2 slice of garlic cheese toast and 1.5 cups of watermelon
S: 3/4 cup of Life Cereal

Summary: 1/4 mile warm up, 3 mile run, 10min elliptical, walk with friend, Sprints and then a jog with the kids, push ups, quads/obliques strength training in gym
Calories in 1300
Water in: 60oz
Weight: 158 (-1.0)

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