Not feeling too adventurous to talk about today- it's 1am and I'm so tired. keep it short *cough- yeah right- get your tea and strudel ready* Pardon my vague trash mouth tonight- sorta in one of those moods today- tad bit passively aggressive- OMG!
the run was shit- I went from a planned 14 to 7 in a flash- the pace all over- the head all over - I felt like a fat horse out there clonking around- I was just 'pounding' out there- no real wings and when I'd find a groove I was either stuck in 5th gear and going really fast or I was stuck in 3rd gear and going slow- like 9min pace and slower -which I just cringe when I see 9 anything on my watch- unless I can really care less- and today I sorta cared, lol. 7 miles in 60min today.
I made my way to the lake - I was thinking as I ran- that I really do love running- and not all runs have to be perfect and timed- and trained by an interval or hill work-out. Running is way more than that for me. It always has been. It's my escape, it's my free time- It's my reflections and thinking and or NO thinking at all sometimes- It's just me and I just don't get that alot in my life. with 3 kids it's rare that I can take a crap or piss by myself. I can't even get a shower without interruption. I get pulled at and I get kids stuck on me all day ...see ↓ 
* Please Pardon the twin attire- I swear they change their clothes ALL DAY LONG*
You will never hear that I don't love being a stay at home mom- there is NOTHING else I'd rather be doing than raising these children of mine- I love them- they are my everything - even the days I am pulling my hair out and BEGGING to run to just get some space, lol.
Anyways- I was running and to the Lake. Which for many of you know that I live just over 3 miles from the lake. I run there- run the piers it's always a go to point for me- even on cold winter windy days *Like today - cause I didnt bitch about the weather- which was cold and windy and totally shit* lmao! but I love the Lake- I love the water. I always have. When I was a child I'd go fishing, swimming- boating on it. I find so much peace by water. I love looking at it- sitting next to it, walking through it- yep- I love it. Here is the Lake and some pictures of it- I have taken these. 
What ws funny about today too was RunnerBoy Not feeling well- coming home from work with a sinus cold- that I have an ounce and suprsingly not getting worse or stuffier- but he told me I should do my LR on his days off- which I know we alway used do - especially when the both of us were in Marathon Training with his work schedule and the 3 kids- so I wasnt sure If I still had to find his work days off for my long runs- but it really makes the most sense- I hybrid my own training plans at this point anyways so It's no big deal to me.
I will be aiming for 3 twenty milers if I end up with 2 I won't be devestated- we will see how the next few month play out. I enteretained on my run just because of yucky it all was - if I was ready to start training so much more for one. It's really a big deal. It takes up my every thought sometimes- it's planning and eating perfect- it's all these rolled into one not to mention my harboring emotions and yes fears about my knee and my running ability to keep pace- creating my own hybrid and scheduling that out-then I have to decide what my long run pace should be- what my My Marathon Goal Race pace needs to be- working splits in my head- all the fancy runnergirl planning has started.
Emotionally working through personal stuff this week (well for a long while now really) it has sorta taken me on a really long spiritual journey this year so my heart weighs a little heavy this week- I am praying through it. It affected me a lot this week*and maybe today too* - not sure why it comes at me in waves. I wonder if when all feels calm or normal if I can't handle it - so I self create a little drama to keep me flowing? Is there such a thing? Nah' that can't be right- I hate drama' even though it seems to have found 'me' a lot this year- but alot of that is just hater confusion, lmao.
Just some Tunes that stuck out to me on the Ipod today- sorta don't remember running there for a while. Crazy!
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